Navigating the Festive Season After a Loss with PayPlan

The holiday season, whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah, work parties, family gatherings, or other celebrations, is often a time for people to come together to celebrate, remember, and connect. But if you, or someone close to you, are grieving, these gatherings may feel overwhelming rather than joyous.

We would like to raise awareness of National Grief Awareness Week which takes place from December 2nd to December 8th 2024, providing a dedicated period for individuals, organisations, and communities to come together to acknowledge and address the various aspects of grief.

How can you navigate this season while caring for your wellbeing?

Acknowledge your feelings

It’s okay to feel sad, lonely, or even angry. Accepting your feelings without judgment can help you process them. Allow yourself to grieve in your own way and at your own pace.

Skipping the celebrations

If it feels right to skip the festivities altogether, don’t hesitate to make that choice, especially if it’s what you need to cope. However, remember that the world will continue around you, so consider strategies to reduce reminders, like avoiding TV and social media. You might also ask someone to help with tasks like opening your mail or doing your shopping online to minimise additional stress.

Saying no to invitations

Invitations are usually extended with kindness, but it’s okay to decline if you’re not up for socialising. If you’re unsure about how you’ll feel on the day, ask if you can decide at the last minute or perhaps join only for part of the gathering, like the meal, if that feels manageable. If you need a quieter environment, consider joining the group for a walk, where you can engage with one or two people at a time.

Sending holiday cards

If you’re sending cards, consider a pre-printed message that shares your loss with your wider circle, while acknowledging the holiday. An example might be:
“In case you’re not already aware, we wanted to let you know that [name] passed away on [date]. We won’t be sending our usual card this year as we focus on treasuring memories with family. We appreciate your friendship and support.”

Hosting the holiday meal

If you usually host the meal but don’t feel ready to do so fully, you can focus on what you can manage but delegate the rest to others. This year you can make the gathering about ease rather than tradition -create a menu that won’t cause you additional stress.

Taking a breather

If things feel too much, make sure you have a quiet space to go to. Talk to your host in advance and arrange a room where you can have some time alone if needed.

Handling gifts

If your loss is recent, you may receive gifts intended for the person who has passed away. Consider setting these gifts aside or ask someone to help you discreetly remove them. With permission from the gift-givers, you might even donate these items to a charity in memory of your loved one, whether it’s a raffle prize or a contribution to support those in need.

Honour your loved one’s memory

It may be a nice new tradition to find a way to celebrate their life at Christmas if that feels right. Writing them a letter, creating a small memorial, or looking through photos can help you feel connected to them and keep their spirit present during the holidays.

Seeking support

Don’t be afraid to lean on friends, family, or support groups. Talking with others who understand your loss can be very comforting. Our partner, The National Bereavement Service, supports anyone who has experienced a bereavement with practical and emotional information and advice from professional bereavement advisors with lived experience.

What you can do next

If you are struggling with debts call us on 0800 072 1206. We’re open from 8am – 8pm Monday to Friday and 9am – 3pm on Saturdays.

Alternatively, you can visit our www.payplan.com/police to speak to us via live chat or for more information.

News to share with us?

    Contact Us

    Send a message through our contact form and one of the team will aim to get back to you within one working day.

    Always call 999 in an emergency.